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Menopause at twenty-three
Being told at 23 years old that going through medically induced menopause would be the best way to have a baby, was a little odd. We all have that one family member that is CONSTANTLY hot, using any object around to fan themselves. Well, with just one, painful, shot in the butt I had become "that guy". If you are anything like me, and joke when you are hot by saying "I am having a hot flash", I can guarantee that you are not having one. Until you feel what it is like to sweat on the inside of your body, you do not know hot flashes.
I got my first round of Lupron February 2017. The idea behind this was my reproductive system would "reboot", for lack of smarter words. With this, I would trick my body into going through menopause and at the end of it be pretty free of the endo, and be able to conceive. The first month of Loopy Lupron probably should have been insight enough that this was not going to work. The first week of the shoot I bled bad, the second week I still had bleeding and no sign of menopause. After a visit to my doctor, we determined if I do not start seeing menopause symptoms in a week, then the shot does not work for me. Sure enough, the hot flashes came rolling in quicker than a hot Florida day. I experienced everything from hot flashes, to acne, to terrible emotions. My lovely husband was deployed during the whole ordeal and did not once have to feel the wrath of a moody menopausal woman.
The first round of Lupron was three months long. The hot flashes were the absolute worst part. Some nights I would have anxiety attacks because I could not control the heat. The only thing that seemed to work would be staying still. Literally. The moment I felt one coming I would just stop whatever I was doing and wait for it to pass. Looking back, I probably seemed really weird to a lot of random people.
I received the second three month round in May. This was supposed to be easy and quick. Ideally, I would end the treatments in August and then shortly after getting a period. We all know that is not how it happened because that would be too easy. About two weeks before the six-month mark, and end of treatment, I began feeling pains that I knew were Endo related. The hypochondriac (joking) in me made a doctors appointment right away. Sure enough, the shot did not work for me. The Endo was expected to come back eventually but not as soon as it did, and surely not while I still had Lupron in my system. At this point, we crossed our fingers and hoped it would pass. It did not.
It was a difficult time to realize that the past six months were spent suffering for nothing. Going through that moment of realization that it did not work was hard to do without Chuck. Feeling like a failure as a woman was not easy to overcome. I still struggle with that feeling, a lot more than I would like.
Deployment ended October and together we decided to give my body until November to naturally get back on track and have a period. A period meant ovulation, and ovulation meant trying for baby D could actually happen. Here we are, December 1, 4.5 months after Lupron and nothing has changed.
On to the next step, I suppose.
xoxo, ALD
