Falling Through the Cracks

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all my followers. Whatever your choice of celebrations are tonight, be safe and be smart! We are decorating the house and spring cleaning. But first, COFFEE!

I am sure most of us have heard the phrase "falling through the cracks". When you feel like some kind of system has failed you. I have finally reached the point in this journey where I feel like I have been let down, and I have fallen through the cracks. I was recommended to this office by a co-worker at a previous job. Doc K and V have been kind, informational, and supportive of this journey and the paths I wanted to take. However, there have been incidents of my prescriptions not being called in, appointments being messed up, and forgetting what medications I have been put on. These are things that I have brushed off. I am a kind person, and I give people (too often) the benefit of the doubt. I am also a very short tempered person when it comes to professionalism. Every ultrasound I have I get told some kind of sarcastic comment about my situation. "You win at PCOS", "You should be the poster child for cyst", and the most recent one "If I were to write an article to publish in a textbook I would use you. You have the worst case I have seen". Yes, I know, I have a hostile uterus and uncooperative ovaries. Yes, I know, this is going to be one of the hardest things I have to overcome. Yes, I know how bad my situation is because I am the one who after every ultrasound leaves crying, has pain in my ovaries for a day or two from you poking and prodding them, and has to call my husband to update him on yet another failed month. You do not get to make a joke out of my situation and tell me I am still young, 26 is prime age, I will be pregnant by then, etc etc. I cannot keep feeling like there is not enough being done, that I am just another patient, just another uterus to add to a winning streak of pregnancies.

One thing that V has told me a couple of times is that if I can afford it, she suggests we go straight to IVF. This has obviously been something Nick and I have talked about. We know it is our best shot at becoming pregnant, and I can feel it (more than I ever could with these current treatments) that it will work.

So I am ecstatic to announce that we have set up our consultation appointment for In Vitro Fertilization for April 5th. We are going to do this last current month of pills and injections from V and hope we can start IVF the end of April.

I want to put this out there once and I am not going to explain myself on it in another blog post; I grew up being taught not to talk about money. You do not tell people how much you make, how much your bills are, what you spend on things you have. It is a great mindset in my opinion and Nick and I never talk about money to people. However, I have been open about every part of this journey from the start. I said in my original post that this blog would be the honest side of TTC. With that honesty comes this unbelievably expensive bill we are about to take on. I laugh at the fact that we are going to be financing our child(ren). So yes, we will be open about the cost of our IVF journey. Tricare does not cover any of the cost at the clinic we are attending. There will be some test and appointments I am hoping I can do at a regular Gyno office and send over, but those are fine details we will have to sort out later on. As of now, just for our initial consultation, we are paying $125 to meet the doctors and talk to a financial advisor. we have talked about a GoFundMe account and have decided together that we cannot do it, I cannot bring myself to put that out there "hoping" people would donate. If by any chance there were some people who wanted to help, we can figure out a different way. I have a friend who has set up a PayPal because her family wants to contribute. We do not expect, nor pray, that people will do the same for us. We are blessed and happy enough that you all read these post. We know there are loans and scholarship programs we can find, and if we are paying off (still laughing) this baby for 18 years, then so be it.

For now, we start this months Provera, Femara, and Gonal (which she increased the amount of, by the way), and wait for our consultation. Prayers, kind words, and good vibes are always welcomed!

Keep praying Team D!

xoxo, ALD

Disclaimer: there are no ill intentions in this post in regards to the doctors office I currently attend. This blog is open and honest and there are bound to be ugly parts. The names of the doctors have never been fully released, nor has the location or name of the practice.