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I am going to preface this blog post by saying I have no idea what the doctor said, what the ultrasound looked like, or what it feels like to actually be stabbed.
Picture it, Raleigh, NC 2018.
Okay, but really, today's appointment was the most painful step in this process thus far. Probably one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done too. Now I know that everyone has a different tolerance for pain and it is very possible I just had a bad experience, but this was no joke. We arrived at the clinic about 15 minutes early and I had just finished chugging a 32oz bottle of water, thinking I needed a full bladder for the ultrasound. I was mistaken and my bladder was not happy. Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows I have an extremely hard time holding it in (here is where I shout out to the office support at work for giving me a potty break every 30 minutes, you the real MVP). As soon as we walked into the ultrasound room, I was greeted by a cup of red soap (that I honestly thought was juice), a catheter, a giant syringe filled with saline, and a couple giant sized cotton swabs. I feel like I probably should have known what the procedure was going to be like, but I took Nicks advice this time and did not YouTube the exact details. The one video I started, I quickly clicked out of when my jaw hit the floor.
Per usual routine, I was told to undress from the waist down and cover myself with the provided tissue paper (for lack of professional terms). I have gotten so used to this that I wore a dress, and let me tell you there is nothing more satisfying than feeling like you have beat the system. Go me! Infertility win (learning to celebrate the small victories).
The doctor entered the room and explained how the procedure would go. She would insert a speculum (the same way they do it at your annual pap, so already uncomfortable) and rinse the cervix with the soap. After it is rinsed, she will insert the catheter through my cervix canal, remove the speculum and replace it with the ultrasound probe. Once that is all set up, she would inject the saline through the catheter into my uterine cavity, distending it. She would be checking to make sure everything was copasetic and that we did not have any little bumps in the road to overcome.
Let. Me. Tell. You. I have never felt pain like I did today. I could not even bring myself to look over at the screen and watch the ultrasound. Nick and the doctor asked me twice if I wanted to look, and I was so focused on not passing out that I could not even respond. The doctor had a difficult time inserting the speculum, taking her 3 times to get it in and inserted properly. I know that was probably my fault because my anxiety kicked in the second I saw the catheter. I do not know if I personally did not react well, if I had a reaction, a low pain tolerance, I really do not know. All I know is the second she injected the saline, I had to turn my head because I thought I was about to throw up. I can only imagine that this is what being stabbed inside your uterus would feel like. I started sweating profusely, my head was pounding, and at one point I got so light headed that my ears started making a "whooshing" noise. When she was done and removed everything I could not sit up. They had to bring me a juice and asked me to lay there for 10 minutes before getting up. Once I finally was able to attempt to leave, my face became pale and I had to rush to the bathroom to linger over the toilet. Needless to say, I am very happy that was a one-time thing and 10/10 would not recommend.
The second we got in the car, Nick looked at me and told me "I am so proud of you". That meant more than he knows.
I felt all of my energy drain straight out of me after that ultrasound. We are home now and I am still feeling extreme discomfort. It hurts to just sit up. That two and a half hour car ride home did not help much either. The heating pad, hubs beef stew, and Impractical Jokers is just what I needed. Kind of wishing I made myself a little IVF survival kit for all of this.
All in all, the ultrasound came back great, we have no blockages or extra tissue and my ovaries look great. Best part, I am already starting to form follicles! If you all remember, it took me 5 months to just form one.
Injections start Saturday!
This will all be so worth it one day.
Keep praying Team D.
xoxo, ALD
GREAT NEWS!!! Our appointment today was way cheaper than we expected. TriCare does not cover any of the expenses, but the clinic gave us a discount for having TriCare, bringing today's $846 appointment to just $470! Of course, there were more medication to buy, but it was still a win.
Baby D IVF ttd: $10,653.38
Consultation: $124
Nurses Class & Procedure - $7,965
Medications - $1,644.38
Saline Ultrasound - $470
Medications pharm. 2 - $450